Decision in Marriage
You only own one thing: your power to decide. All your possessions can be taken from you by an army, an illness, or an attorney. Your health can disappear overnight. Your reputation can be trashed by your own behavior or by the entirely specious claims of another.
But you can always decide how you will react, what you will do.
On my other blog I mentioned that I wanted my marriage to be passionate, risky, joyful, etc. and one of the comments asked me how did I keep that going when I or my wife are tired?
I decide to.
As a man, I believe it is my job to give first, serve first, and love first. If I have had a bad day (as someone with chronic pain and a few health issues, this happens!) and my wife has had a bad day (this, too, can happen) it is MY job to bring joy back into the day. I find that if I get my butt off the couch, ask her what I can do for her, hug her, smile at her, treat her, that that usually changes the course of the day. Does it wear me out or make me even more tired sometimes? Yes, but no more than the grind of joylessness would have. I can be tired and unhappy or tired and happy. Guess which one I choose? When it is in my power to decide, I will decide in a way that brings joy back into the marriage/day.
Does it cost me something? Sometimes. Okay, usually, but who cares? I have a choice. I can decide. I choose love, joy, and life. Yes, it is against my nature. My personality is more suited for a lighthouse keeper or a lone gunman, but I can decide to rise above my DNA and so can you.
Men -- love your wives even -- especially -- when they are not lovable. Love your children and spend time with them even -- especially -- when you don't feel like it. Serve your God and spend time in prayer even -- especially -- when you feel distant from Him and reluctant to speak to Him.
You can do this. You have the power to decide. You have the power to choose.
And if it costs you so much that you get worn out sooner and so see Jesus sooner... tell me, where is the downside in that? So you don't get to spend some time in the hospital dying of nothing in particular... where is the downside in that?
Stand up. Show up. And make a choice. THAT is something no one and no circumstance can take from you. No matter what happens, you get to decide what you will do in response. Maybe it won't be the response you'd like to make. Maybe it won't be the perfect outcome. But it is the best one you could find and you have made a choice.
And that changes everything.